Tag: Law

If Pakistan’s crisis weren’t enough, the National Assembly of the Banistan Nation on Thursday passed the controversial Prevention of Electronic Crimes Bill (PECB) 2015 after the Senate’s unanimous adoption of the bill – with 50 amendments – earlier in July.

The bill was initially designed to curb online crimes.

“See the virtual world is very important. Nobody leaves their houses anymore, all the major crimes are happening online and we need to look at them first. We have to target the clever people hiding inside their houses,” said an MNA in favour of the bill.

The bill has already faced a lot of criticism from the people and many NGOs but the government is determined to keep its people safe online.

“See we need to get rid of filthy people online first because the real world doesn’t matter anymore. Life on the internet is the real deal. We are foreseeing the future. All of you are blinded by the worldly things,” said a senior MNA.

The severity of the bill has scared many.

“This is the first time I ever read a law,” said an internet addict while talking to Khabaristan Times, “We can’t talk, laugh, make fun of anyone. I think the internet is doomed.”

Another said: “I have discontinued my 4G connection and going to read. The internet isn’t a place for me another,” he said while throwing his device into the ocean.

Many lives have become already barren, the effects of the bill have already started to show.


Originally Published in Khabaristan Times 

This is a piece of Satire

ISPR also focusing on improving quality of videos

Rawalpindi: ISPR has successfully released its second musical video in the memory of the APS Peshawar victims. It hopes to fill the security gap of the country with such musical videos, Khabaristan Times has learnt.

“We have huge plans for spreading patriotic slogans across the country about Pakistan so that they forget their security concerns, and music is the best medium for this,” an ISPR official told Khabaristan Times.

It isn’t only music, ISPR is focusing on improving the quality of its videos, according to reports.

“We are hiring better singers and conducting stage shows,” the official revealed. “See, the army is tired of fighting and we too need a break, so we have asked to get the budget transferred to the ISPR funding so we can better entertain people in a lawful manner.”

He continued: “What we are planning now is the biggest event ever in the history of the world. We invite Taliban to fight with us to the beats! We are going to very soon conduct a dance-off!”

“ISPR has been in the shadows for many years now, but with ‘Main aisi Qaum’ and ‘Dushman ke bacho ko parhana hai’ we are finally in the limelight and we won’t let it go so easily.”

Reports suggest that the dance off will be conducted around the Zarb-e-Azb schedule and will decide the final winner of the ongoing military operation. People from the TTP are in contact with the ISPR finalising the details.

“No suicide bombing or shooting will be allowed during the show. We will definitely win Inshallah. We were born to entertain, and it’s time we bring out the showmen in us. TTP has some hidden in them too, our spies have revealed,” confirmed the ISPR official.

“The dance off will help exert the aggression on both sides, making music the platform of all fights. Because entertainment is more important than the security of the people or challenging any ideologies,” said a military analyst while talking to Khabaristan Times.


 

Originally Publish in Khabaristan Times.