Zarb-e-Angel: Taher Shah’s latest video to be used to extract confessions, ISPR confirms

This is a piece of Satire

Torture device designed after two years of hard work

Rawalpindi: If Pakistan had not been through enough atrocities already, Taher Shah blotted on us with an angelic bomb, security analysts agreed over the weekend.

In a separate high-level meeting of senior security officials Taher Shah’s latest song, Angel, in which he is draped in hues of purple and blues was lauded.

“After every hardship comes ease. The release of Taher Shah’s song was a test run,” says an ISPR official while talking to Khabaristan Times. “This new ‘song’ is actually a torture device which was developed after two years of hard work and finding all the right tunes which would scare the sh** out of people.”

DG ISPR Lt Gen Asim Bajwa expressed the Pakistani intelligence agency’s trust in Taher Shah.

“After Eye to Eye we knew that Taher Shah had it in him,” he told Khabaristan Times. “We asked him to up the ante in his second song masterfully titled Angel.”

The DG ISPR confirmed that the song will be used to interrogate terrorists and high-level criminals especially Afghani and Indians intelligence agents. The operation has been officially titled Zarb-e-Angel.

“The punishment, which is now called Taher remand, would involve the convict to sit and watch the video and hear the song in a sound proof room at full volume,” Lt Gen Bajwa said. “The convict would not be allowed to blink and the song would be on repeat. The song would be an integral part of the Punjab operation against jihadists.”

According to sources Indian spy, Kulbhushan Yadav was shown an unedited version of Angel to successfully get his confession.

Another ISPR official further adds that just like Taj Mahal workers, Taher Shah would also be decapitated so that he cannot produce such a song.

The official, however, is sure that the ratio of suicide bombers would reduce very soon. “The jihadists would be scared of all types of heavenly creations after our remand.”


Originally Published in Khabaristan Times

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