Mobilink releases new slogan ‘Bigger Butts, Better Signals’

This is a piece of Satire

All customers need to do is turn on their stomachs, put the headset on and clench their buttocks

Islamabad: Mobilink has finally spoken up following the recent ad that caused much uproar in Pakistan and the Tweetosphere. They revealed their ad strategy exclusively to Khabaristan Times. Mobilink justifies the ad by saying that this is actually a new way to get signals in Pakistan.

“We had a lot of signal complaints across Pakistan, and we had to devise a strategy,” Mobilink spokesperson told Khabraistan Times. “So after much research and thought our foreign educated engineers brought forward this radiant plan.”

“The idea is to allow people to get signals in the luxury of their houses and without much hassle. All they have to do now is turn on their stomachs, preferably facing southwards, put the headset on and clench their buttocks.”

“This works wonders,” a Mobilink gold customer told Khabaristan Times. However, another complained, that “the signals suck even more now”.

The Mobilink spokesperson justified this disparity. “We are trying to cater to one and all but for the time being this would work for people with fuller butts, as the signals get trapped in the bulk. It’s science you see.”

He added: “Nargis Fakhri was demonstrating just that. People in Pakistan took it the wrong way. It’s a technique. It’s not shameful.”

The spokesperson also announced Mobilink’s latest slogan: “Bigger Butts, Better Signals”

“People would definitely try and increase their butt size now because increasing our mental capabilities is out of the question,” he said.

Originally Published in Khabaristan Times